A few pages of my diary

oke, i've never done this before. And i'll probably regret this.
But sometimes it's a good thing to share what's really on your mind.
Or what's really on your heart. And i know that there are enough people
that have the same problems. So here are a few pages of my diary.
Off course i let a couple of pieces out. This was the day i got my breakthrough.
It felt so good when i wrote it down. And from that moment i could let go of
so many things.

??-??-??

I´m going through a proces right now. Today I´ve made the decision 2 stop running.
I will stop running from thoughts, feelings, people, heartbreaks and
relationships.
I'ts time for me to stop fighting these things and start admitting.
I'm sick of running from my past.
I'm sick of running from my future.
I'm sick of running from my feelings.
I'm sick of being insecure and not loving myself.
I'm sick of admiring other people and not admiring myself.

But now i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I need to stop limitting myself. I need to start living and
start dreaming. So now at this very moment, I, Chanterly Louis,
have stopped running. Knowing that the hurt and the pain will come.
But I'm ready.I don´t have everything under controll. And i accept that.

It's time for me to know who i am as a person. Cause that's the
only way i'll get 2 know what i can give to others.

Lord i've asked u so many times for change. For help.
But it's time for me to open my heart and my eyes. That's the only
way U can activate these prayers. It's time for me to open the door
that has been closed for years. It's time for me to get
rid of all the bagage. This is the only way i can move on and be happy.

I want this smile on my face to be real.

It's time to express my feelings.
The world needs to see me as i really am. It's time for me to grow
up and be brave enough to shine.

At the beginning of writing this i was shaking. I realised i haven't been
this honest to myself in a very long time.
As i´m ending this confession my hand isn´t shakin anymore.
My heart isn´t pounding anymore. Cause i´ve finally freed these emotions.
A whole new world and a whole new goal.
I´m ready.. Let´s do this!