Conscious speaking

She says: WHY R U STILL LAYING THERE?
First she whispered, then she spoke and then she screamed
cause it seemed like i was consciously deaf.
'U say ur tired but are u really?
U say ur done but do you mean it?
U sure don't act like it.
U were happy, u were at peace cause i've seen it'

Well, now i'm not, i answered.
I'm emotionally broken cause he broke me,
My heart so full of feelings, they might choke me.
Feeling it wraps its cold hands around my neck,
As i gasp for air, waiting for my lungs to fill,
fuel my body with energy and try to fight back.
But i lack hope, so i finally gave up.
I fell so hard spiritually,
i landed on my back and decided to stay there.
Why? because:

There's only an amount of weight i can bear.
I feel like i passed the limit, twice
then three, four and five times.
So I've had it! My goal is so far, i can't even grab it.
Instead of feeding my spirit i overfed my habit.
Pulling myself away of His light, while my world turns black.
Crawling into the darkest corner
far away from Him cause i'm to ashamed to show my face
Ignoring her calls, denying His arms, disregarding his embrace.
Forgetting his grace and neglecting my thoughts.

And then she, the inner voice in me,
finalised our dialogue.
Why are u broken while he healed u?
Why are you a slave while he freed u?
Ain't there anything that u've memorised.
Rise up before u realize it's to late.
before ur inner voice, actually the voice of Me, is gone.
Cause then u'll get as cold as the floor that u're laying on.

by Chanty